A Regular cleric makes his annual appearance on national television. Surrounded by confidants as he looks into the telescope. Moments of patience and silence until he reveals, “Hey, it’s Eid tomorrow!”
This announcement is met with two generally accepted reactions.
The enthu lot screams, “OMG! Where are my matching choorian (bangles)? I’m going to be an Insta queen tomorrow! But first, let’s cook some sheer khorma!”
There aren’t enough exclamation marks on this planet to convey the excitement of this lot. Meanwhile, the opportunist lot see the day to start with a hearty meal followed by unaccounted nap hours.
The former bears a close resemblance with biryani – the dish that grabs everyone’s attention – while the latter are the kulfis – ice-cold
With limited expression, a part of the festivities, but also the first to finish once they hit the table spread. Between these two extremes lie our karahi, chocolate cake, and gulab jamuns.
Which food vibe do you give off on Eid? Let’s find out!
Do you enjoy the spotlight like a biryani?
Even if you are not looking for it, the spotlight always finds you. When biryani arrives at the Eid table everything else fades away. The fluffy rice interlaced with spicy meat and thin lemon slices is a crowd-pleaser. People strategically place themselves near that biryani tray.
Similarly, Eid guests wish to place themselves near you. Every head turns your way as you narrate your chaand raat tale. “OMG! I was so disoriented after the post-iftar nap, which lasted till 3am LOL, I forgot it was Eid the next day. Woke up the entire house for sehri and poor guys thought it’s time for Eid namaz!”
The entire table shakes with mirth as desi men slam their hands on it and each other. You’ve just made the entire atmosphere festive with your mere presence. Let’s just say, Eid brings out the best in you, turning you into a delicious plate of biryani.
Now, where’s your actual plate of biryani? Over here.
Similar to a gulab jamun, your cheery façade fades with time
A gulab jamun is soft, doughy, and melts in your mouth when it’s fresh. The sugar syrup it just skinny-dipped in is sticky in a good way. But as time passes, the gulab jamun hardens and so does the sugary glaze. It’s still delicious. Anyone who has sneaked out a gulab jamun late at night, from the refrigerator, can vouch for it. What it loses is its softness.
Here’s how you can determine if you’re a gulab jamun on Eid.
Do you wake up extremely cheerful but eventually when reality takes over: run out of small talk discussion points with relatives and crave your cosy bed for that afternoon nap?
If the answer to both these questions is a yes, then you my dear, are definitely a gulab jamun on Eid. You start your day by showering kids with eidi, but as the sun sets, your sugary façade becomes crusty – just like a gulab jamun. With all this talk of soft, pillowy balls of dough dipped in sugar, we’re sure you want a gulab jamun right about now. Don’t ignore the craving, find it here.
Are you a karahi?
Ever present and most delicious yet taken for granted?
Do you feel like you deserve more attention than your cousin? Your hair is more on-point than her. Your dress…well, let’s just say no one in the fam nails the gharara look quite like you! And yet, here you are, all decked up having heart-to-hearts with teenage cousins getting updated on pop culture. This is certainly not what you had in mind last night.
Like a karahi – be it chicken, mutton or beef – you’re definitely a delicious treat but you seldom find yourself unleashed. Especially on Eid.
The sheer khorma and biryanis of the world hog all the attention while you sit and silently devour anecdotes of your cousins.
You look at the mutton karahi steaming away on either side of the long table. Each and every person is devouring the meaty, spicy goodness with garlic naan, but then suddenly the host exclaims, “Aray, what’s Eid without biryani and sheer khorma? Leave the karahi, taste this!”
Sigh. Does karahi face similar woes at your Eid table? Here, order some delicious karahi as you ponder over this question.
Like a chocolate cake, you move from one house to the next
Raise your hand if you’re aware of the most popular Eid game: Pass on the cake! If you think the chocolate cake you took stayed there for longer than two hours, honey, you’re mistaken. That cake was passed on from Aunt’s home to your uncle’s home within hours.
Similar to that cake, you have no permanent residence during the three days of Eid. For you, Eid means a rinse and repeat process of getting ready and attending dawats (parties). You recreate the same look for the hundredth time. You have the same, “conversation with ten different people. All of them seem to agree and have a wonderful time with you.
That’s the beauty of a chocolate cake. It stays relevant and delicious no matter what. Are you craving one right now? Order it from here.
In the end, let’s meet the kulfi
This lot seems to be gaining volume with every passing Eid. Why wouldn’t it? You get to lie in your air conditioned room while everyone else sweats it out at Eid dawats and preps.
A kulfi chills in the freezer while its brethren struggle for space on the huge Eid spread. Once the spread is cleared, out comes the kulfi. Everyone half-sits, half-sags and bites into the desi version of the ice-cream.
If you’re a kulfi on Eid, you’ve definitely experienced this bliss.
You chill with your Netflix and step out when you feel like it. There are no dark circles in sight – because, unlike others, you prioritised sleep over socialising. The dawat debris has been cleared out and now you, the kulfi, can enjoy a calming chai with a cool breeze out in the veranda.
Here, have some fresh kulfi and don’t forget to pair it with falooda, just like you paired your ‘great Eid escape’ with Netflix.
The beauty of Eid is that all sorts of dishes are welcome. You can have a sheer khorma and cake both for dessert. You can pair a qorma with a karahi and no one will bat an eye. Heck, you can even place zarda and biryani side by side and the picky eaters will languidly smile and turn away their gaze instead of getting all snarky.
Eid celebrates all sorts of food, just like it celebrates all sorts of people. You celebrate Eid the way you want to and don’t let that snooty biryani dampen your spirit – looking at you karahis.
In the end, order the food you love and stay safe this Eid!